What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Make Nazis afraid again!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Has anyone shared his wife with a friend? How was it?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why don't younger men like older women?

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.